


Where the lost goes when it finds you

by Gravityoverthegarden



Series: Songs to sing and fall in love to [1]
Category: Kingdom Keepers - Ridley Pearson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, I really love the fact that Philby used to be in a youth church choir, M/M, Panic Attacks, Singing, Songfic, purely self-indulgent, strong language - because teens curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 14:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15536751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravityoverthegarden/pseuds/Gravityoverthegarden
Summary: "We're the let-down, we're the lied to, where the lost go when it finds you, where the lost go when it finds youWhere the lonely make the lonely feel less lonely, and we're dying toInvite you to stay, and take away the pain'Cause misery loves company, so hey, what do you say?"(Title and summary from the song - The Broken Hearts Club by gnash)





	Where the lost goes when it finds you

**Author's Note:**

> This take place a few months after The Dark Passage. The few differences is that Finn and Amanda as well as Philby and Willa aren't together; and Dillard is alive because fuck that shit but the events of Shell Game and The Dark Passage still fucked Finn up because Dillard almost died but the Keepers were able to save him before he did.

The Philbys' house was one of the one houses that Finn dreaded going too, aside from Amanda's and Jess's house because Ms. Nash is a nightmare. Philby's parents hated everything about the Kingdom Keepers except for the face they didn't have to worry about his college tuition. Philby's father was the worst of the bunch by adamantly refusing everything going on in Disney, even after his own son got stuck in Sleeping Beauty Syndrome for a few days. His mother was slightly better but didn't like Keeper stuff to be mentioned when it's not just her son talking about it.

Finn warmed himself up to ring the doorbell. The probability of Philby himself would answer is slim to none; so he'd be either facing irritable Mr. Philby or an over-the-top Mrs. Philby. He'd gone alone and deeply regretted not bringing Willa or someone with him; Philby's parents would be so much easier to face if he had a friend with him.

It took him a full five minutes to ring the doorbell and it took another two for someone to answer.

"Finn!" Mrs. Philby greeted with an exaggerated smile; she was still wearing the scrubs that she wears to work at the hospital, "It's been so long since you came over!"

"It's nice seeing you again, Mrs. Philby! School's been a lot recently," Finn left out the official on-the-books Kingdom Keeper work that they have been doing and frankly, he was terrified of the Philbys, "Your son is home, right?"

"The only time he gets out of the house is for his clubs and you - all, his friends." Mrs. Philby's smile stretched into something fake.

"May I come in?" He asked with a similar fake, but polite, smile.

"Of course!" She moved aside that so Finn could get inside. She closed the door behind him and then lead Finn to the kitchen. "So, what tea do you like?"

"Uh, any tea?" Finn didn't have the heart in him to tell her that he doesn't like tea; it's just hot leaf water unless it's ice cold sweet tea. Sweet tea is the good stuff but he knows Mrs. Philby wasn't offering him that. The Philbys' may live in Florida, but they're from Britain first.

"Green tea? Orange? Blackberry? Black?"

"Green tea is good."

"What do you like in it?"

"Sugar and honey?" Finn hasn't had tea since he last had a cold and even though his mom makes his tea for him.

Mrs. Philby looked like she was holding in a laugh and Finn chose to ignore it. "Alright I'm done torturing you; you know where Dell's room is. I'll bring you and Dell cups."

"Okay; thank you."

Philby's room was easy to find due to the loud music blasting from the room at the end of the hall. Finn would never imagine Philby dad listening, or even allowing, to any music that wasn't Christian hymns, much less music that speaks of going to hell for whatever reason. Finn was about to knock on the door when a much softer song started to play and the volume seemed to be lowered as well.

"I need emotion novocaine, I need a numbing of my brain," a low, smooth voice layered on top the high, more vibrato voice. Finn furrowed his eyebrows. "I need something to take away the remains of your name/

I need amnesia for a day and an umbrella for the rain/

That hasn't gone away since you said you didn't need me."

The lines immediately punched Finn in the gut and even though it was only fifteen seconds into the song, he felt like if knocked on the door he would ruin the integrity of it.

So Finn listened and he felt the barrier that he built over time started to crack. He felt ridiculous; standing outside listening to Philby's music and feeling like he was going to breakdown again. Finn didn't want to think about any of that shit now; he just needed to talk to Philby about Kingdom Keeper stuff that was completely unrelated to that.

"I'm the newest member of The Broken Hearts Club/  


    We hate every little thing about the people that we love/

    We're the let-down, we're the lied to, where the lost go when it finds you/

    Where the lonely make the lonely feel less lonely, and we're dying to/

    Invite you to stay, and take away the pain/

'Cause misery loves company, so hey, what do you say?"

Finn felt a stream of water start to drip into his mouth and off of his chin and onto shirt.

He didn't move; he couldn't stop the flow of tears. He stood frozen as the memories spun like a film wheel and they wouldn't stop. He saw Dillard- he saw Dillard bleeding and that-that- Finn grabbed his hand and squeezed his thumb against the center of his palm; trying to take his mind off of what happened a few months ago. He tried to comfort himself; telling himself that Dillard's alive, that they saved him and didn't die in that jungle. 

"Singin', we're the newest members of The Broken Hearts Club/

    We still feel pretty lonely and we wish we didn't, but/

    We're the newest members of The Broken Hearts Club

    And we all kinda hate it, but it's easier than love/

Singin', we're the-" The low voice stopped singing and Finn couldn't even hear the song the voice had sung over anymore.

Finn wasn't prepared for the door to open.

"Mum," Philby kept his head down but clearly irritated, "if you're standing outside my room my room again-" He paused and his demeanor changed into something less hostile and more uncomfortable as he took in Finn's now disheveled appearance and instantly going into robot mode. "Oh, hey. Uh, are you-"

Finn aggressively wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "'m fine."

Philby didn't say anything for a moment, observing the silently sobbing boy who had suddenly shown up, before asking, "You sure?"

"Sh-yeah."

"Uh." Philby backtracked into his room and grabbed something off of his desk. "Here." He was holding a tissue box and Finn took the whole thing. Philby stood frozen in a stance like he was going to do something but he wasn't sure he should do it. "Come in?"

Finn wasn't in the right state to walk on his own accord.

"Um." Philby peered down the hallway before grabbing Finn by the arms and pulling him into his room and to the loveseat under his bunk bed. He sat Finn down before closing the door and then walking back. He stopped in front of Finn, frozen once again in that unsure how to react stance. "Should I call Amanda or Dillard?"

"No," he snorted and then blew his nose into a tissue. "Just- give me a minute."

Philby did give him a minute; he awkwardly turned off his music all the way and distractedly went through his phone until there was a knock on the door. He looked up panicked before going and opening the door a crack.

"Hey mum, I'll take these," He grabbed two mugs out of Mrs. Philby's hands and closed the door with his foot, not letting his mom see Finn.

"You two aren't doing anything bad in there are you?" Mrs. Philby asked through the door.

"No mum, Finn ripped his pants, so he's changing into one of mine." Normally, Finn would snipe back but he'd rather not deal with one of the two most dreaded figures in the Kingdom Keepers lives.

"Oh, that's sweet of you, dear."

"Uh, yeah; so no need to worry."

"Of course, well, I'll leave you."

"Thank you for the tea," Philby said before she could walk away.

"You're welcome, sweetie." And with that, she left.

Philby let out a pent up breath before looking down at the mugs. "Do you want your tea?" He paused. "I like to drink some when I'm… down."

Finn shook his head and Philby placed a mug on the side table. The once again froze and after a bit of debate, he sat down on the loveseat. He looked severely out of his comfort zone; his posture rigid and his hands placed at an odd angle on his thighs. Philby could rattle off facts about nearly any topic under the sun but as soon as feelings entered the equation he was lost.

"Um." He paused, contemplating something. "Do you want me to Elvis?" Finn shook his head. He didn't want to deal with Philby's cat. Philby flicked his thigh, thinking of anything to help him stop crying before the soft thud stopped. "Hello my old heart/

    How have you been?/

    Are you still there inside my chest?/

    I've been so worried, you've been so still/

Barely beating at all." Philby sang; his voice smooth and soft with experience Finn never knew he had. That was Philby singing earlier too! A realization that should've been obvious right from the get-go but Finn would let that one go by saying he was having a mental breakdown at that moment.

Finn continued to dry his eyes as Philby sang a more upbeat but still somber song than the one he walked in on him first singing along with.

His tears stopped by the third verse but Philby finished off the rest of the song.

"Nothing lasts forever/

    Some things aren't meant to be/

    But you'll never find the answers/

    Until you set your old heart free/

Until you set your old heart free."

"Dude, you can sing?" Finn asked; his voice hoarse and nasally. He blew his nose again.

Philby's head ducked as if he was actually embarrassed about it and sheepishly but still very uncomfortable smirked. "It's not something I like to flaunt."

"You're…" Finn blinked, surprised he's admitting this, "actually really good."

"That's what my mom tells me - and the choir director."

"You're in choir?" Philby never told them that, or he had and Finn forgot.

"Was; church youth choir." Philby grimaced like he was either not proud or uncomfortable saying that.

"How did we not know that?"

    

He shrugged, "I quit pretty soon after we became the Keepers."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I didn't - I stopped believing in that kinda thing and I wasn't enjoying being in it anymore."

"Why didn't you pick it as an elective at school?"

"Because that's not what I'm there for." He chose Academics over singing; of course, he would.

"Oh." They were quiet for a moment. "Can I have my tea?"

"I thought you didn't like tea?"

"My throat's dry."

"Oh." Philby wordlessly gave him the mug with some professional painting covering it. They then sat quietly except for slurps of tea for about ten or so minutes.

"So, where's your dad? Finn asked finally breaking the silence.

"Out of town on business," Philby said.

"Oh thank God." Finn let out a relieved sighed

Philby laughed and started to talk about the stuff Finn actually came here to talk to him about.

**Author's Note:**

> The songs used are The Broken Hearts Club by gnash and Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos. I have no rights over these songs.
> 
> I don't have the books on me at the time I'm writing this so if there are any differences than the ones I wrote at the beginning, it's because I forgot what happened.
> 
> edit 5/23/19: I don't know why I published this with so many errors - including errors in the first line. I've corrected the majority of them.


End file.
